Where is the hickey?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
