Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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