I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
