Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
