Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
