The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
