i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
