Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
