Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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