Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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