do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
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She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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