Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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