we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
