In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
