I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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