we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
