I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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