piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Screwed.edu
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Holy shit dude........stairs
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
