I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
