I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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