thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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