I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
