Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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