i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
