He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
