Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize