I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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