He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
this will be a night to untag.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
