Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Randomize
