im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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