sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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