When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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