I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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