Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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