I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
