but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
