and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
