well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
