just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
ttyl tear gas
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
