Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize