It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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