More tranny stories later!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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