dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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