Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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