i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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