she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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