see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
