im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize