Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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