So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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