i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just high enough for therapy.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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