I can't breathe out the right side of my face
time to smoke my breakfast
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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