We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
