separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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