today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
