pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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