We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
try to milk me bitch
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
