I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
