Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
