YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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