The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
