they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
