i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
